Unspoken
by TheLittlestLion
Summary: The 3 times Beth left and the 1 time she didn't come back.


3 times Beth left and the one time she didn't come back

_**1**__**st**__** time **_

Alison sat at the kitchen table, glass of wine in hand, when her phone rang.

"Hello?" She answered.

"_Hey Ali. It's me, can you let me in?" _she heard Beth sniffle through the phone.

"Yea, is everything okay?" Alison questioned worriedly.

"_I just need to tell y-… Is Donnie home?"_

"No he went with the kids to see his mom in New York." Alison made her way to the front door, she opened the door and hung up the phone when Beth stood there, wrapped up in rain jacket, a tuque and a pair of mittens. She looked at Beth's face and her heart broke. The taller clone's lipstick was smudged, her mascara running down her cheek, and Alison could see a distinct hand print bruise forming on her right cheek. Anger boiled up inside her when she thought of who was responsible. _Paul. _

"Oh, Beth…"She pulled her best friend into her house and into a tight hug.

Once the door closed, Ali let her go and offered to take her coat. Beth shook her head.

"I won't be here long." She whispered out.

"Don't be silly Beth, you can stay with me. Where else would yo-"

"I need to tell you something Ali." Beth interrupted. She grabbed the other girl's hand. She inhaled deeply.

"It's something I've been meaning to tell you for a really long time. I wasn't sure how to tell you. I didn't understand the gravity of what I was feeling, because if anything, you keep my grounded. But today, I knew. I knew I had only so much time to tell you. So here it goes," She looked up and into Alison's eyes.

"There's a part of me that hasn't been honest with you. It's a part of me that I've concealed because I've believed it to be the darkest part of me. But now, now I realize that it's the brightest and I've had problem finding anything bright in my life for a while now. But Alison, you've always been there. I can't control this anymore… Alison, I…I…I think I'm in love with you." She breathed out. Alison's eyes widened.

"And if it's my only chance to do this." Beth leaned in and slowly kissed Alison. She stepped back and looked at Ali's face. When the other clone remained frozen and shocked, Beth offered a weak smile, opened the door and left in the dead of the night. It's only a minute later that Alison realizes she's never wanted anything more than to feel those lips on her again.

_**2**__**nd**__** time.**_

Alison and Beth were curled up on the couch, watching re-runs of a TV-show they didn't know the name of on low volume. Because truthfully, they hadn't been watching anything for the past hour or so. Tangle in each other, they were one. They'd spent countless words exchanging promises they weren't entirely sure they could keep. But lying seemed a lot better than reality right now and if they could just pretend that they had forever to live like this, that Donnie wouldn't come home in 45 minutes, then they'd live their entire life in pretense. Both the girls were falling asleep on each other, it was very late after all.

"I should probably leave soon." Beth mumbled quietly. Alison's grip on her tightened.

"Nooo" she said weakly, voice laced with exhaustion. Beth chuckled at the adorable toddler-like way Alison was acting.

"Darling, I should let you get some sleep." Alison's hand was on her mouth in an instant.

"Shh, we can sleep together." She slurred tiredly. Beth's heart clenched at the thought. She wanted nothing more than to wake up to Alison but life wasn't that simple.

"One day, alright little one?" Beth whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. They stayed like this for a couple minutes, until Alison was sound asleep. Beth maneuvered herself until she could effortlessly pick up the shorter clone. She gently walked with Alison in her arms until she reached the bedroom and tucked the small girl into her bed. She watched Alison breathing evenly until she absolutely had to leave.

"One day, I promise I'll take you far away from everything." She whispered into the darkness. She strode down the stairs quietly and out the door, leaving a peacefully sleeping Alison in her wake.

_**3**__**rd**__** time**_

"I think I'm sick, Ali." Beth was vulnerable when she spoke.

"Well maybe it's not as bad as it seems," Alison offered up quietly.

"You live in this little bubble of denial Ali, and that's your problem. But I won't ignore this."

"My problem? You wanna talk about my problems? How about your problems?" Alison said defensively.

Beth scoffed, "Oh I'm just dying to hear this." She sarcastically replied.

"You're a control freak who refuses to think anything could ever go any other way but your way."

Beth slammed her hand on the table.

"This isn't a fucking game!" She yelled. "I can't keep living like this Alison." She choked out.

"Like what?" Alison said back loudly.

"I love you!" Beth shrieked, "Don't you understand that?! But I can't keep doing this with you! Not with what's happening." Beth said resolvedly. "I don't know where I stand with you Alison." She said exasperatedly, " We only have so much time before one or both of us dies. This thing is far bigger than anything you can possibly imagine. So I need to know how you feel, I can't die not knowing how you feel." Beth mumbled that last part.

"I feel…I don't know what I feel okay? But I know," Alison placed her hand on Beth's face, forcing her to look her, "that my children mean the world to me and I don't know how to explain these things. I can't go my whole life keeping you in the dark. It's not fair to you. It's not fair to either of us." Alison stroke Beth's cheek with her thumb.

"God, there you go again avoiding the question." Beth huffed out. "I'm going to make it really simple for you, Alison. If you can't tell me you love me, I'll walk out that door right now and you won't ever see me again."

The seconds ticked on and Alison couldn't figure out what to say, couldn't put into words what she felt for Beth and how much the girl meant to her. She couldn't string it together because love, love was not enough to describe the sheer attachment she felt for Beth. Love was not enough to describe how sometimes Alison was drowning but Beth always kept her afloat. It wasn't enough to describe how God must have taken all the stars and put them in her eyes because Alison had never seen anything quite as bright.

Love, well love couldn't describe how Alison soaked through her panties every time Beth looked at her. Every time Beth touched her she was on fire. She couldn't even begin to say that love wasn't an adequate feeling for Beth coming undone on her hand, body covered in sweat, moaning her name. But Beth took her silence as she would, broke away from Ali's grasp, and stood up. Alison grabbed Beth's forearm as she walked past her but Beth shrugged her off, grabbing her by the collar of her shirt and forcing her into a heated kiss. Beth kissed her with such force that she was sure her lips would bruise. And then abruptly, the kiss broke.

"It's exhausting to love someone that doesn't love you back." She spat with finality and left.

Alison would call endlessly after that and Beth never picked up. It wasn't until three days later that she realized that she'd never get the chance to tell Beth that love, love wasn't enough to describe that she couldn't live without her.


End file.
